Had to show some prospective clients round the call centre. Typical set-up: rows upon rows of 20-something phone monkeys dressed like a Top Shop window sprung to life; and about as equally productive.

But I gave them the usual sales pitch: “huge growth over the last year….profits up by X%….committed to quality….bespoke service…….blah….blah…..blah” – it’s just like the job interviews, if you repeat it often enough, you start to believe it yourself.

Some of the monkeys are very cute though. However, I suspect if you tip them on their back their eyes will roll over like Tiny Tears; I’m curious to test the hypothesis though…………….